How to bring EQ to discovery calls

February 17, 2021
Fred Melanson
4 min
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EQ is the new IQ.

It’s considered by many scholars to be the new differentiating factor for business leaders.

In sales, individuals who can show emotional intelligence often drive amazing results, get more information from their potential customers and get to their goals faster.

However, most people assume emotional intelligence to only be one’s sociability, sensitivity, and likability, when they’re missing critical elements of emotional intelligence that could make them stronger, more effective leaders/salespeople.

Actually, there are 4 main parts to the emotional intelligence spectrum:

View this article for more details on the 12 sub-parts of the EQ spectrum.

Being competent in those 4 areas will allow sales leaders and their teams to articulate a vision that resonates emotionally with both themselves and those they sell to. As mentioned in Why people with EQ ultra-perform and how to improve yours, it’s a core attribute of outperforming sales professionals.

In this part 2 article on emotional intelligence, we dive into how to use EQ in video meetings to get to golden nuggets of information faster.

1. Use Chris Voss’s mirror technique to put the other party at ease

If you haven’t seen the Masterclass, the mirroring technique is when someone repeats an important word or term used by the other party in an interrogative way to get more information on the subject and put the other party at ease.

Let me give you an example.

Your prospect might respond to a question about logging data in his CRM with:

Prospect: “Yeah, logging data in my CRM always ends up being super cumbersome!”

You (mirror): “Cumbersome?”

Prospect: “Well, yes. It takes me a couple of hours every Friday to enter our deal information and progress so that my boss has good data (what you want to know)”

You (mirror): “So your boss has data?”

Prospect: “Yes, If we don’t upload the data, we’re not being paid our full quotas, but entering the data removes hours that I could spend selling more, you know (What you really want to know!)”

People like to share about themselves and talk. Doing so will increase your emotional connection with the other party.

2. Go through the 5 why’s

Going through the 5 why’s is asking your prospect “why” 5 times to get to the root cause of their problems/concerns, etc., allowing you to know exactly what to focus on to make the sale or improve your messaging.

It relates to emotional intelligence because the deeper you get in the “why’s”, the more personal the conversation will get, improving your chances of bonding with the prospect.

The key here is to ask your whys in a casual way, not as if you were conducting an interrogation, at which point you’ll create the opposite effect.

Use the labelling technique to neutralize negative subjects or reinforce positive ones for a better deal

Labelling is another negotiation technique described by Chris Voss that can help you foster an emotional connection with your prospects.

To do so, verbalize a feeling that you sense in your prospect’s answers. It will fast-track the other person’s emotional connection to the meeting and allow you to extract valuable information.

Same example as above but with labelling instead of mirroring:

Prospect: “Yeah, logging data in my CRM always ends up being super cumbersome!”

You: “It seems like you’re upset about this.”

Prospect: “Well of course I’m upset! I could spend more time selling or spend time with my family on Friday afternoons if logging was faster!” (you’ve just understood their motives to buy).

The key here is to label negative emotions to uncover motives and seriousness.

You’ll want to also label negative emotions when you’re in disagreement and want to get the conversation back to the neutral zone or label positive emotions to drive more emotional engagement from the other party.  

3. Adapt to while remembering the questions you want answers to

Part of being emotionally intelligent is being able to adapt quickly to the other’s reaction.

If you stick to your questions or your pitch, you might lose the connection, which is sometimes more important than the actual content of the meeting!

Know when to adapt and use techniques to get the conversation back to your initial target with casual yet powerful tactics like labelling, mirroring and personal examples.

4. Empathize with the other party using personal examples

Empathy is another crucial skill to master.

A great way to do it is to share personal examples. It’s proven that people will trust you and build a bond with you faster if you show vulnerability and share personal examples.

Be careful to do this brief, as you want the other person to talk most of the time.

Using personal examples to reinforce subjects will greatly help in building the emotional connection.

5. Paint a picture of the future with anchoring words

The human brain produces dopamine when it thinks of a positive outcome or reward.

As a salesperson, you can use this to your advantage to make your prospect think of what his/her life will be with your product/solution.

Anchor your descriptions of the future with positive adjectives and words that the prospect used to describe her situation and problem. It will increase the relatable aspect.

Avoid talking about your product/solution and ask questions about what would be different if the prospect’s problem was solved.

This way you don’t even have to picture the future yourself, your prospect will do it for you!

I hope this was useful!

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Cheers, Fred ✌️